Not too long ago I registered my entries for IPC 2015 and pushed that final little button that sent them on to the netherland of waiting until August 3. Two are physical prints, so they still need labeled and shipped off. Two are digital entries and are currently in server-land some where.
And I, am just sitting here feeling pretty much like… well… I’m not sure.
Generally I’d say “I hate my case,” but I’m not sure that’s entirely appropriate this time. There are a couple of entries I really like. One, I love. I don’t really hate any of them – and overall, there’s not really anything I’d change on any of them. I’m not feeling rebel enough to break a seal and wasn’t particularly feeling the need to do so – so moot point, anyway.
So, what’s the issue?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m taking this all too seriously. Is it possible to even do that? I know I stressed myself out with it this year. I kept pushing and pushing. I kept changing things up – for awhile I was trying to follow too many peoples’ advice and the whole thing became an exercise in pleasing someone else. But that’s the whole “game” isn’t it? Pleasing someone else?
No, not really.
The game is to compete with yourself and do the best possible work that you can. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Did I do that?
Well…. I guess I’d have to say “yes.”
But whether my best is good enough to meet the goal I set for myself – not so sure….
… to be continued